master of none
It’s really hard to stay focused, to keep the tears from falling, to keep a smiling, indifferent, comical expression. Why is being upset and emotional so discouraged?? isn’t crying and blubbering like a fool a healthy release? I’m pretty sure I believe that.. but why then can’t I let myself react to this like a normal person. Why do I keep on insisting that I must remain as stoic as possible..
Because IT FUCKING HURTS and I’m so tired of that pain of breaking heartbeats, tearing vessels, crushed lungs, closed, dry throats, puffy, exhausted eyes. I’m so tired of wasting my life away on pain..
Pain is NOT fucking beautiful you horrible, inconsiderate, stupid person. I can’t believe I held onto that idea for so long. I can’t believe I let you convince me of that. Do you know how unhealthy I made that romantisized motto of yours?? Gosh.. fuck you. Fuck all of this.